A woman is born with all the eggs she will ever carry, about a million in fact. This means that for a short while your Grandmother carried you. A teeny tiny egg in your Mothers developing ovaries your Grandmothers body was hard at work laying the foundation for the life that would one day be yours. If this fact doesn't blow your mind or warm wherever you keep your sentiment I don't know what will.
Us boy Mums cop a bit of flack for being weirdly obsessed with our boys. In some cases this ridicule seems fair, I have heard a poem circulating the net likening the experience of a Mothers sons growing up and becoming men to the feelings experienced during a break up. This is weird, they are our sons not our partners. Having the privilege of shaping a boy into a young man who shares your values and treats you with respect and adoration doesn't mean you can cling on to them for life. But what if part of the reason you cling on to this boy Mum persona is because subconsciously you realise that you have no one to pass on your matriarchal lineage?
This might be a stretch but let's look at the reality of Motherhood from a ancestral point of view. We know our Mothers maiden names, it's sometimes our password for online banking. We might even know our Grandmothers maiden name, particularly if it's as cute as my Grandmothers was 'bud'. Adorable, like a rose bud. What about her Mothers? We know our Grandfathers surname. We know his Grandfathers surname. And although it's not about the name, 'what's in a name' and all of that. It's that along with this focus on our family names we've unlearned the importance of our own lineage. The value of what a woman passes down has been lost. Forget that our foremothers gave up their names and identities to build the families that forged us. They literally grew us, taught our Mothers how to be Mothers and shared a secret tie with us that has been so undervalued it's been erased from modern knowledge.
If you're a Mum without daughters your matriarchal line ends with you. This is a sad fact that demands pause. So let's reflect a little on what it means to be the last of a line. What have our Mothers and Grandmothers given us? Many moments of side eye no doubt. Bickering seems to be a talent passed down through genetics if you ask me. But also the memories. Making scones and milkshakes. That feeling of warmth only a maternal figure can give when they hold you. The way they make the whole house feel lived in. The way your house becomes homely when Mum steps behind the kitchen bench.
As for us boy Mums, there is a way we can carry on our line. We teach our boys to be the men another woman will need. We make men who support the nurture of another matriarchal line. One day another woman, if they're into that, will be a woman making a house a home simply by standing in her kitchen. She will need her husband to yang as she yins. She will need our boy to value her and her input and to cherish what she is passing down as she grows her future Granddaughters.
If you ever doubt your value, remember this. You're not only important to the little people in your life, you're a work of art. Generations of biology gone exactly right. The product of a line of women who have lived rich lives filled with only knows what. And that is pretty special.
Happy Mothers Day x
Emma is the founder and CEO of Angus The Label, Mum of two and Step Mum of two. A self described tree hugger Emma brings a particular bougie vibe to sustainability and minimalism through her company and loves to build community within her space.